Pistol's Crush
by Cool Steve
Summary: [Goof Troop, A Goofy Movie] [One shot] An interesting story of Pistol and her wild infatuation with P.J.’s best friend, Max.


Hello again fellow fiction-eers. Back again with another Goof Troop/AGM fic. Unfortunately, it has been harder for me to write more fics since my trusty laptop died. There are oodles of ideas I want to write and expand on, but I never have time on public computers to really focus on my writings. It sucks, and I am trying to get my new computer up and running as soon as I can, but obstacles keep getting in the way.

Anyway, this little one-shot is a revised version of some random story that was posted on one of the Yahoo groups dedicated to the series and movies. The original author of this story is unknown to me, so I give all credit to the mystery writer who wrote this fic. If you're out there reading this, I'm not stealing your story, I just cleaned and tweaked it up so it looked and read better – and it needed a fair bit of work. I do know, however, that the original version of this fiction was typed in 2002 – I personally worked on the improved fic July 2005. It wasn't uploaded until August as this site was having problems with its story uploading. It would not upload and save the square brackets I use to distinguish actions from words in this fic. I got tired of waiting for them to fix this bug after sending countless e-mails, so I had to change everything to normal brackets. What a pain in the ass it was! Anyway, I'd also like to point out that this story takes place post _Goof Troop_ and just pre-_Goofy Movie_, as you will find out when you read. So envision the story as you would, and keep in mind Max and the gang are 15 and Pistol (according to my theory she was five in _Goof Troop_ since the series was inconsistent with her age) is eight – such a perfect time to start crushin'!

I feel this is a good story, and could be played off as an actual episode of the series. I'm just trying to get good ideas recognized. So enjoy!

o----o

SCENE: _Max and PJ are in PJ's room, discussing about how Max is going to tell Roxanne how he feels about her. Pistol hops in the room and starts to beg PJ to help her with her homework._

Pistol: (Very hyper.) Oh PJ! PJ! PJ! Can you help me! _Please_! I got this assignment that I really, _really_ need help on, and I'd be very, very, grateful if you could help!

PJ: (Annoyed.) Pistol! Can't you see that Max and I are busy! Get lost!

Pistol: (Mockingly.) Sorry PJ, but every time I get lost someone always seems to find me!

(PJ rolls his eyes at Pistol's remark, while Max decides to help her just to get her out of the room.)

Max: (Taking a pencil from his pocket.) Here Pistol, let me see that.

(Pistol hands Max the paper and smiles.)

Max: (Writing.) Two plus two is four, four plus four is eight, eight plus eight is six-teen…

(Max goes on doing the whole assignment for her. Pistol is pleased by this and thanks him.)

Max: (Hands Pistol the paper.) Here!

Pistol: Oh! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

(Pistol hugs Max and runs off. Max is satisfied now that she's gone.)

PJ: Isn't her teacher going to be suspicious when she sees how well Pistol's handwriting has improved?

Max: Ah, that's her problem. So...about this Powerline thing again?

(PJ grins and starts explaining part of his plan to Max.)

SCENE: _Cuts to Pistol and Peg who are in the kitchen. Peg is making dinner while Pistol is at the table doodling hearts on a piece of paper. Peg smiles and wonders what she is up to._

Peg: What are you making, sweetie?

Pistol: (Sighs.) I'm writing a love letter.

Peg: (Interested.) To whom, may I ask?

Pistol: Max.

Peg: Max? You mean the Max that lives right next door? Goofy's son, Max?

Pistol: (Has a dazed love-sick expression on her face.) Yeah...

Peg: (Kidding to herself.) I would love him as a son-in-law.

(Pistol grins as Pete walks in getting a drink from the fridge.)

Pete: You'd like who as a son-in-law?

Peg: (Daydreaming.) Max...

Pete: (Spits out his pop that he was mid-way through drinking. His eyes grow big.) _Max_! You mean that goofy looking kid? Our neighbor? The son of the Goof!

Peg: That's the one.

Pistol: (Turns around.) I'm in love with him!

Peg: (Sends Pistol out of the room as Pete starts to lose his temper. She picks up her picture with Max's name written all over it and smiles.) Isn't it sweet…she has a crush!

Pete: _Sweet_! You think it's sweet? Listen Peg! I don't want that kid to marry our daughter, got it! It's bad enough to have those Goof's as neighbors! I don't even want her to marry their tenth cousin! I want no relations to those Goof's whatsoever, understand!

Peg: Oh Pete, you're being ridiculous! It's just an innocent little crush!

Pete: (Mumbling as he walks away.) Easy for you to say.

Peg: (Eyes narrowed). Did you say something, Peter?

Pete: (Turns around.) Oh…nothing, I said nothing, my little chestnut.

SCENE:_ It's now midnight as we see Pete tossing and turning in bed. We fade into his dream where we see a big lavish wedding with decorations as far as the eye can see. As Pete walks a grown up Pistol down the aisle, we see Goofy standing on one side of the aisle with all his wacky relatives._

Goofy: Ah-yuck! One of the family now!

(We see Peg crying as they move along the aisle. Then the best man turns around to reveal PJ's face.)

PJ: I can't believe he's going to be my brother-in-law now! This rocks!

(The groom turns around to reveal the face of a now older Max as the preacher says, "I now pronounce you husband and wife". Max and Pistol slowly lean in for their kiss. Just as this happens, Pete wakes up and screams. A startled Peg wakes up as well.)

Peg: Petey! Petey, what's wrong?

Pete: (Breathing heavily.) THAT GOOF-BOY'S GONNA MARRY OUR DAUGHTER!

Peg: Oh Pete, it's just a crush! NOW GO BACK TO SLEEP!

Pete: B-but Peg-ems, it was so real. It was all there. Da Goof and all his insane family tree, all 'ah-yuck-ing' it up and driving me nuts!

(A bothered Peg turns around and goes back to sleep while Pete lies back in the bed staring at the ceiling.)

Pete: Worst of all, how much is this wedding gonna cost me!

SCENE:_ It's now the next day, around noon, in PJ's room. We see Max on the phone talking to someone while PJ has the phonebook open searching for technicians. Max is just getting off the phone as Pete spies behind the door._

Max: Your prices are just a little too high for our budget, but thanks anyways…yeah, okay. Bye.

PJ: No luck?

Max: Nope, he's too expensive too. Let me try the one guy I know that works at the church. He works the technical stuff when they have weddings. (Max dials the number. After a bit someone answers and Max has a short conversation with them.) Uh-huh…yes…sure. Yeah. I'll see you at the church. Later. (Hangs up.)

PJ: Well…?

Max: We're going to meet him down at the church in ten. It's worth hearing him out, but I don't think he'll have time as he's booked solid with weddings. We need someone who can do it for cheap and that will get the job done fast. I really like her, man.

Pete: (Shouts.) AH-A!

(Pete runs off to tell Peg, as PJ opens the door to see what the fuss is all about. Seeing nothing and no one, he closes the door.)

Pete: Peg! Peg! Goof Junior is planning to marry our daughter!

Peg: Oh Pete! You have it all wrong. Pistol has a crush on Max! Max doesn't have a crush on Pistol!

Pete: But she can't! He's... he's a _GOOF_!

(Peg shakes her head and continues folding clothes.)

SCENE:_ Cuts to Max who is waiting for PJ in PJ's backyard. He's sitting at the patio table as Pistol cheerfully comes by with markers and some paper._

Pistol: (Bashfully.) Hi Max.

Max: (Doesn't take notice.) Hey Pistol, what's up?

Pistol: You want to color with me?

Max: (Caught a little of guard.) Color?

Pistol: Uh-huh. I was thinking we should draw out the plans for the reception and ceremony!

Max: (Confused.) Pistol, what are you talking about? What reception and ceremony?

Pistol: You know, the one we'll maybe be having in a few years when we get married.

Max: _MARRIED_! (Max almost falls out of the chair.) Where did you get an idea like that!

Pistol: Well, you like me don't you?

Max: (Trying to choose the right words.) Well sure I like you, but not...

Pistol: And don't people who like each other get married?

Max: Well, I suppose so…but I don't lik-…

Pistol: (Gets wound up and hugs Max.) Oh goody, goody, goody, goody! Bye!

(Pistol runs off excited while Max just stands there.)

Max: …like you in that way. (Sighs.)

(Soon after, PJ and a guy with a funky Mohawk show up.)

PJ: Max, this is Bobby. Bobby, Max, the guy in need.

(Max reaches out to shake his hand but Bobby starts doing hi-fours instead.)

Bobby: Cool! Sa-o Maximum, you need my services?

Max: Yeah. Everyone else is too pricey or they don't have the time.

PJ: You see, he likes this girl...

Bobby: (Flips up his sun glasses.) A lady, eh? No need to explain there, bro! Let's talk business.

(All three go into the house.)

SCENE:_ Cuts to Max, PJ, and Bobby in PJ's room. They have papers and diagrams scattered all over the floor._

Max: So, what's the charge for all of this?

Bobby: I charge by the cheese. Cheddar Whizzy.

Max: Wha? Isn't Cheddar Whizzy that aerosol cheese that comes in a can?

Bobby: The one and only.

Max: (Quickly whispering to PJ.) Cheese? He wants to get paid with bad tasting, artificially flavored liquid cheese?

PJ: Don't ask.

Max: (Turning his attention back to Bobby.) So…

(We see Pete with a glass to his ear as he listens through the door.)

Bobby: (Heard through door.) We'll the ring's gonna cost ya a bit more. But no problem-o, you look like a pretty trustworthy guy.

(Pete's eyes grow large when he hears the word ring.)

PJ: (Heard through door.) You also need to make alterations on your suit as well.

(Cut to Max holding up the Powerline suit.)

Max: Yeah, it is kinda big.

Bobby: Any skinner bro and you'll look exactly like Powerline.

(Pete gets worried and continues to listen as Peg walks by and discovers what he is doing.)

Peg: PETE!

Pete: (Jumps and turns around. Peg is giving him the evil eye.) I was just…getting the boys something to drink. (Holds up the glass innocently.)

Peg: (Starts to walk downstairs.) Come on Pete.

(Pete starts to follow, but when Peg turns the corner and is out of sight, Pete sneaks back up to the door.)

Peg: (From downstairs.) PETE!

(Pete mumbles and leaves the door. As he arrives at the foot of the stairs, Pistol runs over toward him in a very happy mood.)

Pistol: Daddy! Daddy! Guess what! Max and I are gonna get married! I asked him and he said yes!

Pete: (Screaming.) _NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_ (Drops to his knees and starts crying.)

Pistol: (Walks off.) Cheesh, what's wrong with him?

Peg: (Coming over to comfort Pete.) There, there Pete. It's just a crush. Nothing more, nothing less.

Pete: No it's not! First I over hear Max and PJ saying they'll meet someone at church, then they start talking about rings and junk, and next thing I know our own daughter announces their engagement!

Peg: Petey, relax. Let's get you settled in your recliner, turn on the football game, and I'll get you some nachos and soda, okay?

Pete: (Rambling.) Then her last name will be Pistol…_Goof_!

(Peg rolls her eyes as she guides Pete to his chair.)

SCENE: _Cuts to Pistol who is walking by PJ's room. The door is slightly open and she stops to drop in on the conversation Max and PJ are having._

PJ: This is gonna be good!

Max: Do you think it will really work?

PJ: Hey man, this crazy idea is just confirming what I already know. I know she likes you. (Elbows Max jokingly.)

Max: Really? (Changes tone.) But…I dunno, I still have my doubts.

PJ: Well, one thing I know for sure…is you really like her.

Max: (Lovesick sigh.) Yeah, I do. Roxanne is the best.

PJ: You're my bud, and if this is the only way you think you can officially win her over, then I'm all for it bro.

Pistol: (Opens the door with tears in her eyes.)

Max: (Turns around.) Pistol?

Pistol: I thought you liked me! (Runs out of room.)

PJ: What was that all about?

Max: I didn't realize she liked me _that_ much.

PJ: Huh?

Max: She got this crazy idea that we were gonna get married.

PJ: It's okay dude, Pistol can be pretty dramatic at times. She'll get over it.

Max: (Stands up.) Maybe I should talk to her.

SCENE: _Cuts to Pistol who is outside on the porch, holding a flower and furiously plucking off the petals one by one. Max walks by._

Max: Hey Pistol. May I sit with you?

Pistol: (Crosses arms and turns away.) It's a free country.

Max: (Sitting down.) Pistol, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

Pistol: (Whips around.) Too late!

Max: (Trying to let her down easy.) It's just that I never really liked you in the way you thought I liked you, or in the way you like me. Your young Pistol – you're not even a teenager yet. You'll get over me. Besides, you know someone else has stolen my heart.

(Pistol gives Max a blank stare.)

Max: (Twiddling thumbs.) Anyway…what do you have to say about that?

Pistol: I hate you! (Runs into house.)

Max: (Ironic huff.) I just can't win, with Pistol or Roxanne.

(Cut to Pistol running down the hall past Pete.)

Pete: What's wrong honey?

Pistol: I hate Max! (Runs into her room and slams the door.)

Pete: (Jumps for joy.) Yes!

Pistol: (Reopens her door.) But I'm still in love with him! (Shuts the door again.)

Pete: (Shouting at the ceiling.) Why, why me!

Peg: (Walks behind Pete with a laundry basket.) Is their any particular reason you're yelling at the ceiling, sweet-ums?

Pete: That Goof has got our daughter under his spell! I can't take it anymore! (Makes his way to PJ's room.)

Peg: Pete! Ugh, there is no reasoning with that man.

(Pete furiously stomps towards PJ's room where PJ and Max are still talking about their plans.)

Pete: (Slams open the door.) Max!

Max: (Stands up with a jump.) Uh, yes Mr. P?

Pete: How!

Max: How _what_?

Pete: How did you make my daughter fall in love with you!

Max: I didn't Mr. P, she did that on her own.

Pete: So then why are you going along by marring her!

Max: (Shoots Pete an odd stare.) Where would you get a crazy idea like that, Mr. P?

Pete: (Shaking his finger at Max.) I know what you boys have been up to! Planning this wedding at the church, sayin' how it has to be done cheap and someone has to get the job done fast. I'm on to you boy!

(Max looks at PJ who just shrugs. Pete grabs the bag on the bed containing the Powerline suit.)

Pete: _Ooooh_, I'm on to you Maxie Boy! Don't you think you can pull the sheep over my eyes! What about this suit that you needed alterations on because you've got your old man's body, huh! (Pulls out the suit, shocked to see a bright yellow and green one-piece costume. He looks at Max strangely.) This ain't no wedding outfit…

Max: No, it's not Mr. P.

Pete: (Looks at the cable ring on the suit.) And that's not a wedding ring...

Max: No, it's not Mr. P.

Pete: So…you're not planning to marry Pistol?

Max: No, I'm not Mr. P.

Pete: (Hugging Max, acting like Pistol.) Oh! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Runs out of the room happily.

Max: (Turns to PJ.) Like father, like daughter.

(Cut to Pete running to Peg and giving her a tight squeeze.)

Pete: Peg! Max _isn't_ going to marry our daughter!

Peg: (Sighs and rolls her eyes.) Well _I_ could have told you that.

SCENE: _The next day we see Max, PJ, and Bobby who are in PJ's room putting the finishing touches on their scheme for the last day of school. Pistol walks up to Max and pulls him aside._

Max: (Pleading.) Pistol, I don't like you in that way! I told you that a million times, so just...

Pistol: That's great! Cause I don't like you anymore!

Max: (Shocked.) You…don't?

Pistol: (Shakes her head.) Nope! I like him. (Points to Bobby.)

Bobby: (Surprised and confused.) Huh?

Max: (Smiling, he pushes Pistol towards Bobby.) He's all yours.

(PJ grins at Max, Bobby just looks annoyed.)

Bobby: Dude, not funny! This wasn't in the deal!

Pistol: (Running off.) See you guys later, I gotta draw up plans for our wedding ceremony!

(Everyone but Bobby is laughing. As Pistol makes her way to her room, Max catches up with her.)

Max: Pistol, before you go…why don't we have a little fun with your dad?

(A big smile spreads across Pistol's face as the make their way up to the attic.)

(Cut to Pete in the living room who is eating chips and reading the newspaper. Max and Pistol burst through the front door. Max is in an old tux with a top hat while Pistol is in a white dress.)

Max: Hey Pop, change of plans! _We just got hitched!_

Pete: (Looks up from his paper and screams in terror.) NO! _NO!_ _NOOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!_

(Pete runs out of the house and starts yelling across the street. Peg comes in the kitchen to see what's up and sees what Max and Pistol have done.)

Peg: (Arms crossed.) Now, you _know_ that was wrong.

FINISH: _Max and Pistol nod. Peg smiles as they all begin to laugh. Zoom out to where Pete is still running around the neighborhood yelling. Fade to black. The End._


End file.
